diff --git a/yogstation/code/datums/antagonists/vampire.dm b/yogstation/code/datums/antagonists/vampire.dm
index 0b7bb8367cbc..b141c832495e 100644
--- a/yogstation/code/datums/antagonists/vampire.dm
+++ b/yogstation/code/datums/antagonists/vampire.dm
@@ -25,16 +25,16 @@
 		/datum/vampire_passive/vision = 75,
 		/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/shapeshift = 75,
 		/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/cloak = 100,
-		/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/disease = 175,
-		/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/bats = 250,
+		/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/revive = 100,
+		/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/disease = 200,//why is spell-that-kills-people unlocked so early what the fuck
 		/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/batform = 200,
 		/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/screech = 215,
+		/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/bats = 250,
 		/datum/vampire_passive/regen = 255,
 		/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/ethereal_jaunt/mistform = 300,
 		/datum/vampire_passive/full = 420,
 		/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/summon_coat = 420,
-		/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/vampirize = 450,
-		/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/revive = 0)
+		/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/vampirize = 450)
 
 /datum/antagonist/vampire/get_admin_commands()
 	. = ..()
@@ -202,6 +202,7 @@
 		C.adjustFireLoss(-4)
 		C.adjustToxLoss(-4)
 		C.adjustOxyLoss(-4)
+		C.adjustCloneLoss(-4)
 		return
 	if(!get_ability(/datum/vampire_passive/full) && istype(get_area(C.loc), /area/chapel))
 		vamp_burn()
@@ -232,9 +233,9 @@
 			to_chat(O, "<span class='warning'>They've got no blood left to give.</span>")
 			break
 		if(H.stat != DEAD)
-			blood = min(20, H.blood_volume)// if they have less than 20 blood, give them the remnant else they get 20 blood
-			total_blood += blood / 2	//divide by 2 to counted the double suction since removing cloneloss -Melandor0
-			usable_blood += blood / 2
+			blood = min(20, H.blood_volume)	// if they have less than 20 blood, give them the remnant else they get 20 blood
+			total_blood += blood			//get total blood 100% efficiency because fuck waiting out 5 fucking minutes and 1500 actual blood to get your 600 blood for the objective
+			usable_blood += blood * 0.75	//75% usable blood since it's actually used for stuff
 		else
 			blood = min(5, H.blood_volume)	// The dead only give 5 blood
 			total_blood += blood
@@ -244,7 +245,7 @@
 		H.blood_volume = max(H.blood_volume - 25, 0)
 		if(ishuman(O))
 			O.nutrition = min(O.nutrition + (blood / 2), NUTRITION_LEVEL_WELL_FED)
-		playsound(O.loc, 'sound/items/eatfood.ogg', 40, 1)
+		playsound(O.loc, 'sound/items/eatfood.ogg', 40, 1, extrarange = -4)//have to be within 3 tiles to hear the sucking
 
 	draining = null
 	to_chat(owner, "<span class='notice'>You stop draining [H.name] of blood.</span>")
diff --git a/yogstation/code/game/gamemodes/vampire/vampire_powers.dm b/yogstation/code/game/gamemodes/vampire/vampire_powers.dm
index 9a0a21c7dde7..68f2a279c51f 100644
--- a/yogstation/code/game/gamemodes/vampire/vampire_powers.dm
+++ b/yogstation/code/game/gamemodes/vampire/vampire_powers.dm
@@ -112,17 +112,18 @@
 	vamp_req = TRUE
 
 /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/hypnotise/cast(list/targets, mob/user = usr)
-	for(var/mob/living/target in targets)
+	for(var/mob/living/carbon/target in targets)
 		user.visible_message("<span class='warning'>[user]'s eyes flash briefly as he stares into [target]'s eyes</span>")
 		if(do_mob(user, target, 30))
 			to_chat(user, "<span class='warning'>Your piercing gaze knocks out [target].</span>")
-			to_chat(target, "<span class='warning'>You find yourself unable to move and barely able to speak.</span>")
+			to_chat(target, "<span class='warning'>You find yourself unable to move or speak.</span>")
 			target.Paralyze(150)
-			target.stuttering = 10
+			target.silent = 10 //finally makes this stupid spell USEFUL
 		else
 			revert_cast(usr)
 			to_chat(usr, "<span class='warning'>You broke your gaze.</span>")
 
+
 /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/shapeshift
 	name = "Shapeshift (50)"
 	desc = "Changes your name and appearance at the cost of 50 blood and has a cooldown of 3 minutes."
@@ -140,6 +141,7 @@
 		randomize_human(H)
 	user.regenerate_icons()
 
+
 /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/cloak
 	name = "Cloak of Darkness"
 	desc = "Toggles whether you are currently cloaking yourself in darkness."
@@ -169,6 +171,49 @@
 	update_name()
 	to_chat(user, "<span class='notice'>You will now be [V.iscloaking ? "hidden" : "seen"] in darkness.</span>")
 
+
+/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/revive
+	name = "Revive"
+	gain_desc = "You have gained the ability to revive after death... However you can still be cremated/gibbed, and you will disintergrate if you're in the chapel!"
+	desc = "Revives you, provided you are not in the chapel!"
+	blood_used = 0
+	stat_allowed = TRUE
+	charge_max = 1000
+	action_icon = 'yogstation/icons/mob/vampire.dmi'
+	action_icon_state = "coffin"
+	action_background_icon_state = "bg_demon"
+	vamp_req = TRUE
+
+/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/revive/cast(list/targets, mob/user = usr)
+	if(!is_vampire(user) || !isliving(user))
+		revert_cast()
+		return
+	if(user.stat != DEAD)
+		to_chat(user, "<span class='notice'>We aren't dead enough to do that yet!</span>")
+		revert_cast()
+		return
+	if(user.reagents.has_reagent("holywater"))
+		to_chat(user, "<span class='danger'>We cannot revive, holy water is in our system!</span>")
+		return
+	var/mob/living/L = user
+	if(istype(get_area(L.loc), /area/chapel))
+		L.visible_message("<span class='warning'>[L] disintergrates into dust!</span>", "<span class='userdanger'>Holy energy seeps into our very being, disintergrating us instantly!</span>", "You hear sizzling.")
+		new /obj/effect/decal/remains/human(L.loc)
+		L.dust()
+	to_chat(L, "<span class='notice'>We begin to reanimate... this will take 1 minute.</span>")
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(src, /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/revive.proc/revive, L), 600)
+
+/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/revive/proc/revive(mob/living/user)
+	user.revive(full_heal = TRUE)
+	user.visible_message("<span class='warning'>[user] reanimates from death!</span>", "<span class='notice'>We get back up.</span>")
+	var/list/missing = user.get_missing_limbs()
+	if(missing.len)
+		playsound(user, 'sound/magic/demon_consume.ogg', 50, 1)
+		user.visible_message("<span class='warning'>Shadowy matter takes the place of [user]'s missing limbs as they reform!</span>")
+		user.regenerate_limbs(0, list(BODY_ZONE_HEAD))
+		user.regenerate_organs()
+
+
 /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/disease
 	name = "Diseased Touch (50)"
 	desc = "Touches your victim with infected blood giving them Grave Fever, which will, left untreated, causes toxic building and frequent collapsing."
@@ -189,6 +234,7 @@
 		var/datum/disease/D = new /datum/disease/vampire
 		target.ForceContractDisease(D)
 
+
 /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/screech
 	name = "Chiropteran Screech (20)"
 	desc = "An extremely loud shriek that stuns nearby humans and breaks windows as well."
@@ -214,6 +260,7 @@
 		W.take_damage(75)
 	playsound(user.loc, 'sound/effects/screech.ogg', 100, 1)
 
+
 /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/bats
 	name = "Summon Bats (30)"
 	desc = "You summon a pair of space bats who attack nearby targets until they or their target is dead."
@@ -258,6 +305,7 @@
 	range = -1
 	addtimer(VARSET_CALLBACK(src, range, -1), 10) //Avoid fuckery
 
+
 /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/vampirize
 	name = "Lilith's Pact (400)"
 	desc = "You drain a victim's blood, and fill them with new blood, blessed by Lilith, turning them into a new vampire."
@@ -305,47 +353,6 @@
 			add_vampire(target)
 
 
-/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/revive
-	name = "Revive"
-	gain_desc = "You have gained the ability to revive after death... However you can still be cremated/gibbed, and you will disintergrate if you're in the chapel!"
-	desc = "Revives you, provided you are not in the chapel!"
-	blood_used = 0
-	stat_allowed = TRUE
-	charge_max = 1000
-	action_icon = 'yogstation/icons/mob/vampire.dmi'
-	action_icon_state = "coffin"
-	action_background_icon_state = "bg_demon"
-	vamp_req = TRUE
-
-/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/revive/cast(list/targets, mob/user = usr)
-	if(!is_vampire(user) || !isliving(user))
-		revert_cast()
-		return
-	if(user.stat != DEAD)
-		to_chat(user, "<span class='notice'>We aren't dead enough to do that yet!</span>")
-		revert_cast()
-		return
-	if(user.reagents.has_reagent("holywater"))
-		to_chat(user, "<span class='danger'>We cannot revive, holy water is in our system!</span>")
-		return
-	var/mob/living/L = user
-	if(istype(get_area(L.loc), /area/chapel))
-		L.visible_message("<span class='warning'>[L] disintergrates into dust!</span>", "<span class='userdanger'>Holy energy seeps into our very being, disintergrating us instantly!</span>", "You hear sizzling.")
-		new /obj/effect/decal/remains/human(L.loc)
-		L.dust()
-	to_chat(L, "<span class='notice'>We begin to reanimate... this will take a minute.</span>")
-	addtimer(CALLBACK(src, /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/revive.proc/revive, L), 600)
-
-/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/revive/proc/revive(mob/living/user)
-	user.revive(full_heal = TRUE)
-	user.visible_message("<span class='warning'>[user] reanimates from death!</span>", "<span class='notice'>We get back up.</span>")
-	var/list/missing = user.get_missing_limbs()
-	if(missing.len)
-		playsound(user, 'sound/magic/demon_consume.ogg', 50, 1)
-		user.visible_message("<span class='warning'>Shadowy matter takes the place of [user]'s missing limbs as they reform!</span>")
-		user.regenerate_limbs(0, list(BODY_ZONE_HEAD))
-		user.regenerate_organs()
-
 /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/self/summon_coat
 	name = "Summon Dracula Coat (100)"
 	desc = "Allows you to summon a Vampire Coat providing passive usable blood restoration when your usable blood is very low."