[fix](connections) fix connection hang after too many connections

[cambyzju]

Proposed changes

Issue Number: close #31569

cherry-pick #31594 to 2.0

Further comments

If this is a relatively large or complex change, kick off the discussion at dev@doris.apache.org by explaining why you chose the solution you did and what alternatives you considered, etc...

[doris-robot]

Thank you for your contribution to Apache Doris.
Don't know what should be done next? See How to process your PR

[cambyzju]

run buildall

[doris-robot]

TPC-H: Total hot run time: 50435 ms

machine: 'aliyun_ecs.c7a.8xlarge_32C64G'
scripts: https://github.com/apache/doris/tree/master/tools/tpch-tools
Tpch sf100 test result on commit 81a0b8f9ef8d389e316a3d89cee8a94e496b5223, data reload: false

------ Round 1 ----------------------------------
q1	18038	4459	4436	4436
q2	2026	160	147	147
q3	10327	1866	1934	1866
q4	10127	1256	1350	1256
q5	8477	4017	4018	4017
q6	237	126	127	126
q7	2042	1601	1644	1601
q8	9319	2730	2770	2730
q9	10951	10623	10480	10480
q10	8670	3592	3543	3543
q11	422	244	239	239
q12	464	290	310	290
q13	18355	3972	4071	3972
q14	347	336	327	327
q15	513	459	465	459
q16	719	591	593	591
q17	1166	988	987	987
q18	7295	7018	6995	6995
q19	1680	1543	1532	1532
q20	552	300	300	300
q21	4499	4141	4184	4141
q22	506	400	400	400
Total cold run time: 116732 ms
Total hot run time: 50435 ms

----- Round 2, with runtime_filter_mode=off -----
q1	4366	4333	4324	4324
q2	320	227	224	224
q3	4192	4152	4139	4139
q4	2765	2799	2778	2778
q5	7281	7229	7208	7208
q6	235	124	118	118
q7	3310	2819	2865	2819
q8	4387	4473	4497	4473
q9	17221	17016	16944	16944
q10	4226	4307	4322	4307
q11	758	687	676	676
q12	1029	865	839	839
q13	6572	3768	3765	3765
q14	450	425	425	425
q15	498	462	452	452
q16	759	721	687	687
q17	3819	3812	3842	3812
q18	8811	8884	8841	8841
q19	1729	1739	1674	1674
q20	2389	2226	2123	2123
q21	8563	8588	8494	8494
q22	1048	936	910	910
Total cold run time: 84728 ms
Total hot run time: 80032 ms

[doris-robot]

TPC-DS: Total hot run time: 202529 ms

machine: 'aliyun_ecs.c7a.8xlarge_32C64G'
scripts: https://github.com/apache/doris/tree/master/tools/tpcds-tools
TPC-DS sf100 test result on commit 81a0b8f9ef8d389e316a3d89cee8a94e496b5223, data reload: false

query1	939	389	381	381
query2	6538	2122	2026	2026
query3	6923	208	206	206
query4	21587	18025	18081	18025
query5	19708	6446	6366	6366
query6	274	218	236	218
query7	4154	296	307	296
query8	253	248	252	248
query9	3159	2690	2638	2638
query10	401	273	307	273
query11	11359	10698	10723	10698
query12	125	82	69	69
query13	5580	656	641	641
query14	17711	13667	13369	13369
query15	360	221	237	221
query16	6466	282	280	280
query17	1681	1452	854	854
query18	2347	421	403	403
query19	210	151	144	144
query20	75	75	75	75
query21	185	95	94	94
query22	5403	5133	5164	5133
query23	32484	32157	31884	31884
query24	6963	6508	6531	6508
query25	516	425	425	425
query26	536	163	165	163
query27	1868	297	297	297
query28	6115	2255	2207	2207
query29	2854	2729	2767	2729
query30	243	163	161	161
query31	896	728	724	724
query32	65	48	57	48
query33	380	255	242	242
query34	839	473	485	473
query35	1081	926	946	926
query36	1514	1728	1494	1494
query37	89	66	57	57
query38	3112	2930	2924	2924
query39	1361	1317	1332	1317
query40	206	95	95	95
query41	39	32	32	32
query42	86	79	97	79
query43	596	673	610	610
query44	1162	708	724	708
query45	244	227	227	227
query46	1238	961	979	961
query47	2028	1640	1772	1640
query48	969	696	674	674
query49	636	370	371	370
query50	881	598	614	598
query51	4787	4704	4686	4686
query52	89	77	72	72
query53	451	323	313	313
query54	2648	2450	2449	2449
query55	90	79	76	76
query56	208	199	219	199
query57	1289	1032	1195	1032
query58	214	198	211	198
query59	3421	3215	3178	3178
query60	210	196	196	196
query61	86	81	82	81
query62	826	502	481	481
query63	470	336	337	336
query64	2343	1507	1462	1462
query65	3622	3572	3532	3532
query66	796	374	355	355
query67	15644	16140	15600	15600
query68	9535	672	658	658
query69	564	364	343	343
query70	2135	1621	1828	1621
query71	414	302	302	302
query72	6422	3519	3449	3449
query73	745	328	318	318
query74	6288	5866	5810	5810
query75	5453	3739	3718	3718
query76	6098	1149	1219	1149
query77	1010	250	240	240
query78	12715	11646	11976	11646
query79	7921	664	664	664
query80	1069	385	388	385
query81	486	243	232	232
query82	1685	100	103	100
query83	170	131	127	127
query84	257	67	71	67
query85	846	292	283	283
query86	378	380	364	364
query87	3221	2990	3013	2990
query88	4719	2340	2335	2335
query89	392	312	318	312
query90	1938	214	215	214
query91	167	116	124	116
query92	53	52	50	50
query93	6094	606	543	543
query94	691	212	199	199
query95	1111	1087	1069	1069
query96	657	328	320	320
query97	6535	6450	6335	6335
query98	185	174	161	161
query99	2848	1043	932	932
Total cold run time: 314435 ms
Total hot run time: 202529 ms

[doris-robot]

ClickBench: Total hot run time: 30.25 s

machine: 'aliyun_ecs.c7a.8xlarge_32C64G'
scripts: https://github.com/apache/doris/tree/master/tools/clickbench-tools
ClickBench test result on commit 81a0b8f9ef8d389e316a3d89cee8a94e496b5223, data reload: false

query1	0.03	0.02	0.02
query2	0.07	0.02	0.02
query3	0.25	0.05	0.04
query4	1.82	0.07	0.07
query5	0.54	0.52	0.52
query6	1.28	0.62	0.62
query7	0.01	0.00	0.01
query8	0.04	0.03	0.02
query9	0.52	0.49	0.47
query10	0.54	0.54	0.54
query11	0.13	0.09	0.08
query12	0.11	0.09	0.09
query13	0.61	0.62	0.61
query14	0.78	0.81	0.77
query15	0.78	0.76	0.76
query16	0.37	0.37	0.35
query17	0.99	1.02	1.03
query18	0.22	0.28	0.25
query19	1.92	1.84	1.85
query20	0.01	0.01	0.01
query21	15.50	0.56	0.54
query22	1.73	2.03	1.04
query23	17.16	0.94	0.98
query24	4.75	3.53	1.05
query25	0.39	0.08	0.08
query26	0.81	0.14	0.15
query27	0.04	0.04	0.03
query28	5.95	0.73	0.70
query29	12.75	2.31	2.26
query30	0.61	0.54	0.54
query31	2.82	0.40	0.38
query32	3.40	0.50	0.49
query33	3.09	3.07	3.06
query34	15.26	4.81	4.82
query35	4.86	4.82	4.84
query36	1.05	1.01	1.01
query37	0.05	0.05	0.05
query38	0.03	0.02	0.02
query39	0.02	0.02	0.02
query40	0.16	0.14	0.14
query41	0.06	0.02	0.01
query42	0.02	0.01	0.01
query43	0.02	0.02	0.01
Total cold run time: 101.55 s
Total hot run time: 30.25 s

[doris-robot]

Load test result on machine: 'aliyun_ecs.c7a.8xlarge_32C64G'

Load test result on commit 81a0b8f9ef8d389e316a3d89cee8a94e496b5223 with default session variables
Stream load json:         20 seconds loaded 2358488459 Bytes, about 112 MB/s
Stream load orc:          58 seconds loaded 1101869774 Bytes, about 18 MB/s
Stream load parquet:      31 seconds loaded 861443392 Bytes, about 26 MB/s
Insert into select:       20.8 seconds inserted 10000000 Rows, about 480K ops/s

[nextdreamblue]

LGTM

[github-actions]

PR approved by at least one committer and no changes requested.

[github-actions]

PR approved by anyone and no changes requested.

[lide-reed]

LGTM