tighten wheel size limits, expand CI-skipping logic, other small build changes

[jameslamb]

Description

Proposes a batch of miscellaneous build / packaging / CI changes.

Changes

Tightens wheel size limits

Contributes to rapidsai/build-planning#219

To ensure surprising package-size growth is caught in CI, this PR tightens the limits in the following ways:

• setting all limits to {compressed_size} + 10Mi, rounded to the nearest 5Mi

Expands CI-skipping logic

Contributes to rapidsai/build-planning#243

Tries to avoid unnecessary CI runs by making the CI-skipping rules finer-grained. For example, PRs that only touch .pre-commit-config.yaml should now not require any runners with GPUs 😁

Removes reliance on pypi.nvidia.com

Contributes to rapidsai/build-planning#241

git grep -i -E 'pypi\.nvidia\.com'
git grep -i -E 'rapids\-init\-pip'

And removed/updated all relevant references. This project does not need any wheels from pypi.nvidia.com at build-time or runtime, it can safely avoid searching that index.

This project's own wheels aren't available from pypi.org, so the --extra-index-url in docs is preserved here.

Enforces PEP 639 license metadata in pyproject.toml

Contributes to rapidsai/pre-commit-hooks#95

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[jameslamb]

/ok to test

[bdice]

/merge

[bdice]

/merge