[R][Packaging] Apply changes in r/tools/autobrew upstream

[asfimport]

The changes to r/tools/autobrew in ARROW-11735 must be applied upstream when we release 4.0.0.

See #9610 (comment)

Reporter: Ian Cook / @ianmcook
Assignee: Ian Cook / @ianmcook

Related issues:

• [R][Packaging] Dataset, Parquet off in autobrew and CRAN Mac builds (is related to)
• [R] Allow Parquet and Arrow Dataset to be optional components (depends upon)

_{Note: This issue was originally created as ARROW-11861. Please see the migration documentation for further details.}

[asfimport]

Ian Cook / @ianmcook:
@nealrichardson I opened a draft PR at autobrew/scripts#9

[asfimport]

Ian Cook / @ianmcook:
Resolved by autobrew/scripts@284c47d