branch-3.0: [fix](load) fix dead lock when write memtable failed #49170

[github-actions]

Cherry-picked from #49170

[hello-stephen]

Thank you for your contribution to Apache Doris.
Don't know what should be done next? See How to process your PR.

Please clearly describe your PR:

1. What problem was fixed (it's best to include specific error reporting information). How it was fixed.
2. Which behaviors were modified. What was the previous behavior, what is it now, why was it modified, and what possible impacts might there be.
3. What features were added. Why was this function added?
4. Which code was refactored and why was this part of the code refactored?
5. Which functions were optimized and what is the difference before and after the optimization?

[hello-stephen]

run buildall

[doris-robot]

TPC-H: Total hot run time: 39964 ms

machine: 'aliyun_ecs.c7a.8xlarge_32C64G'
scripts: https://github.com/apache/doris/tree/master/tools/tpch-tools
Tpch sf100 test result on commit 95b9d6a6bc04f9a63f5410d2a691dc1842441707, data reload: false

------ Round 1 ----------------------------------
q1	17582	6700	6560	6560
q2	2072	174	161	161
q3	10633	1070	1141	1070
q4	10551	746	810	746
q5	7734	2825	2871	2825
q6	221	136	130	130
q7	989	610	606	606
q8	9358	1935	1972	1935
q9	6573	6364	6376	6364
q10	7040	2236	2289	2236
q11	473	258	269	258
q12	401	218	212	212
q13	17770	2959	3023	2959
q14	249	203	208	203
q15	495	475	465	465
q16	675	594	583	583
q17	965	561	554	554
q18	7303	6635	6740	6635
q19	1391	1168	997	997
q20	483	208	197	197
q21	4006	3279	3314	3279
q22	1111	1016	989	989
Total cold run time: 108075 ms
Total hot run time: 39964 ms

----- Round 2, with runtime_filter_mode=off -----
q1	6619	6564	6533	6533
q2	334	247	237	237
q3	2920	2778	2906	2778
q4	2051	1803	1807	1803
q5	5749	5743	5727	5727
q6	209	125	126	125
q7	2224	1779	1820	1779
q8	3385	3534	3531	3531
q9	8819	8894	8893	8893
q10	3595	3520	3501	3501
q11	594	512	486	486
q12	834	607	600	600
q13	10760	3210	3204	3204
q14	295	266	270	266
q15	522	465	468	465
q16	728	649	663	649
q17	1850	1580	1597	1580
q18	8472	7790	7666	7666
q19	1665	1535	1504	1504
q20	2116	1898	1891	1891
q21	5599	5312	5304	5304
q22	1112	1065	1007	1007
Total cold run time: 70452 ms
Total hot run time: 59529 ms

[doris-robot]

TPC-DS: Total hot run time: 198401 ms

machine: 'aliyun_ecs.c7a.8xlarge_32C64G'
scripts: https://github.com/apache/doris/tree/master/tools/tpcds-tools
TPC-DS sf100 test result on commit 95b9d6a6bc04f9a63f5410d2a691dc1842441707, data reload: false

query1	1326	912	908	908
query2	6239	2053	2040	2040
query3	10806	4494	4242	4242
query4	66253	28336	23643	23643
query5	5064	455	455	455
query6	405	175	172	172
query7	5484	306	305	305
query8	296	221	218	218
query9	8549	2589	2579	2579
query10	450	278	261	261
query11	17493	15294	15924	15294
query12	163	107	108	107
query13	1450	441	421	421
query14	10432	7788	7764	7764
query15	200	176	180	176
query16	7086	502	478	478
query17	1076	565	568	565
query18	1820	308	297	297
query19	211	171	146	146
query20	117	109	108	108
query21	208	104	104	104
query22	4921	4482	4536	4482
query23	34511	34109	34222	34109
query24	6159	2871	2898	2871
query25	533	434	420	420
query26	655	168	163	163
query27	1913	355	348	348
query28	4111	2464	2402	2402
query29	714	482	470	470
query30	249	164	164	164
query31	1011	815	873	815
query32	67	60	62	60
query33	449	314	323	314
query34	918	493	512	493
query35	867	747	747	747
query36	1087	968	990	968
query37	130	76	72	72
query38	4074	4111	4058	4058
query39	1510	1500	1474	1474
query40	209	103	108	103
query41	54	51	49	49
query42	118	106	100	100
query43	527	490	491	490
query44	1203	843	813	813
query45	196	177	179	177
query46	1151	744	730	730
query47	2026	1934	1931	1931
query48	491	379	386	379
query49	715	422	407	407
query50	859	433	436	433
query51	7374	7217	7155	7155
query52	101	92	85	85
query53	259	185	175	175
query54	551	447	454	447
query55	79	76	74	74
query56	260	236	252	236
query57	1257	1150	1106	1106
query58	207	201	213	201
query59	3203	3147	3029	3029
query60	283	266	266	266
query61	113	107	137	107
query62	775	681	660	660
query63	219	190	186	186
query64	1390	694	639	639
query65	3242	3203	3182	3182
query66	700	294	324	294
query67	15974	15656	15758	15656
query68	3860	558	565	558
query69	435	283	260	260
query70	1191	1163	1113	1113
query71	361	260	255	255
query72	6367	3983	4020	3983
query73	771	343	341	341
query74	10422	9018	9052	9018
query75	3379	2677	2671	2671
query76	1849	1032	1114	1032
query77	463	276	284	276
query78	10663	9584	9659	9584
query79	1493	587	586	586
query80	860	424	428	424
query81	515	240	239	239
query82	1271	91	91	91
query83	248	143	144	143
query84	283	86	76	76
query85	908	297	291	291
query86	352	310	278	278
query87	4446	4321	4349	4321
query88	3768	2399	2350	2350
query89	421	297	295	295
query90	1988	191	191	191
query91	182	148	153	148
query92	67	51	55	51
query93	2016	535	543	535
query94	785	294	299	294
query95	349	257	254	254
query96	609	287	281	281
query97	3353	3177	3197	3177
query98	217	197	195	195
query99	1588	1339	1267	1267
Total cold run time: 318023 ms
Total hot run time: 198401 ms

[doris-robot]

ClickBench: Total hot run time: 31.82 s

machine: 'aliyun_ecs.c7a.8xlarge_32C64G'
scripts: https://github.com/apache/doris/tree/master/tools/clickbench-tools
ClickBench test result on commit 95b9d6a6bc04f9a63f5410d2a691dc1842441707, data reload: false

query1	0.03	0.03	0.03
query2	0.06	0.03	0.03
query3	0.24	0.06	0.06
query4	1.62	0.10	0.10
query5	0.54	0.49	0.51
query6	1.16	0.71	0.72
query7	0.02	0.02	0.01
query8	0.06	0.04	0.03
query9	0.55	0.49	0.50
query10	0.55	0.54	0.55
query11	0.14	0.10	0.10
query12	0.14	0.10	0.11
query13	0.61	0.60	0.59
query14	2.84	2.70	2.75
query15	0.89	0.83	0.83
query16	0.41	0.37	0.37
query17	1.09	1.05	1.01
query18	0.24	0.22	0.22
query19	1.85	1.88	2.12
query20	0.01	0.01	0.01
query21	15.61	0.58	0.57
query22	3.17	2.58	1.83
query23	16.88	0.98	0.99
query24	2.96	0.53	1.30
query25	0.33	0.13	0.08
query26	0.41	0.14	0.14
query27	0.05	0.04	0.04
query28	10.66	0.50	0.50
query29	12.61	3.30	3.29
query30	0.25	0.06	0.06
query31	2.86	0.38	0.38
query32	3.25	0.45	0.46
query33	3.01	3.00	3.06
query34	16.94	4.47	4.43
query35	4.51	4.46	4.51
query36	0.67	0.48	0.48
query37	0.08	0.06	0.06
query38	0.05	0.04	0.04
query39	0.04	0.02	0.02
query40	0.17	0.12	0.13
query41	0.08	0.02	0.02
query42	0.03	0.02	0.02
query43	0.04	0.03	0.02
Total cold run time: 107.71 s
Total hot run time: 31.82 s

[hello-stephen]

BE UT Coverage Report

Increment line coverage 70.00% (14/20) 🎉

Increment coverage report
Complete coverage report

Category	Coverage
Function Coverage	38.87% (10166/26154)
Line Coverage	30.29% (86664/286101)
Region Coverage	29.35% (44539/151756)
Branch Coverage	25.87% (22654/87556)

[dataroaring]

LGTM